


Guardians aren't diplomats. (Negotiations, confessions and proposals just aren't in the manual. How to beat up a Sith is though.)

by GlytheSector



Category: Star Wars: The Old Republic
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, Bisexual Female Character, F/M, Multi, Other, Polyamorous Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-03
Updated: 2014-06-03
Packaged: 2018-02-03 06:32:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1734593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlytheSector/pseuds/GlytheSector
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Jedi teachings often emphasise the importance of letting go. But perhaps Dekanis should pay attention to “there is no ignorance” and just talk more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Guardians aren't diplomats. (Negotiations, confessions and proposals just aren't in the manual. How to beat up a Sith is though.)

**Author's Note:**

> This work involves a Jedi Knight and Consular from Star Wars the Old Republic. Relatively spoiler free with the exception of crew members named and the romance option for the female Consular.

The training blade hit the dummy with an emphatic crack that broke the tense quiet of the training room. The ship recently arrived at Carrick station had swiftly emptied of crew members, all eager to take the chance to run some errands and get away from the diminutive Jedi’s odd mood. Dekanis tried again to reach for their usual focus. Usually they found it easy to reach some measure of internal calm through exercise and physical movements. It was better than sitting on a floor meditating at least. They'd wanted to compose themself before they went to meet Massaryl at the cantina, but peace seemed out of reach this evening. Their frustration just ended up building and building, echoed by the increasingly loud thwacks of their blade on the dummy, their heavy breathing and the strained whirrs of the motors in their cybernetic hand.

They were so lost in their work they didn’t realise they were no longer alone till they felt a familiar presence in the force. It was a sense of a warmth and light like the sun rising above Tythons’ peaks and sparkling off the waters of the rivers they had swam in as kids. Finally choosing to lower their blade and turning slowly beneath Massaryl’s quiet stare, Dek felt a dark pit of fear in their stomach unlike any they'd ever felt in battle.

“You’re late” Massaryl calmly stated, her cultured and fluid voice failing to hide an edge of concern. Dek looked down, their insides twisting in what felt like shame as they realised that their failure to attend what should have been a happy celebration of Massaryl’s news had hurt her.

“I’m sorry” Dek muttered, the words tearing at their throat as they struggled to maintain their composure. No matter their own pain they had never ever wanted to hurt Massaryl.

"Please don’t apologise” Massaryl said, as she stepped closer. “I’m not here to reproach you, I’m here because I’m worried for you. Felix was worried too when you didn’t come. He wanted to see if you were alright.” As her pace brought her face to face with Dek she pried the blade from their hands and cast it aside before gently taking their hands in her own.

“Felix is a good man.” Dek heard themself say the words as if hearing them from a distance. “I wanted to say congratulations. You’re good for each other, I’m glad the council has approved your relationship.” Holding onto Massaryl’s hands it was so hard not to cling tight to those beloved hands they knew so well. Soft from sweet smelling creams to keep away calluses from lightsabers, her nails immaculately manicured, the smooth scar from when a precious holocron had shattered and Massaryl had insisted on gathering the sharp fragments immediately. They knew the details of her hands almost better than their own.

Dek wanted to never let them go. To never let her go. But the Jedi way was not to cling jealously to those they loved. Letting one’s personal feelings stand in the way of others, to not be willing to let go of emotional attachments when the time came. Those were the ways a Jedi fell, nothing so simple as feeling the emotion of love by itself. Daring to look up at Massaryl's face Dek saw a dawning look of understanding and prayed the force would give them strength to see this conversation through.

“You think that me and Felix getting married changes things. You think it changes us?” A touch of hurt or perhaps anger spiked in Massaryl's voice. Dek tried to speak but couldn’t find the words.

“You! Oh come here you ridiculous knight.” Warm arms swept Dek up in a fierce embrace. Confused and perhaps frightened by the spark of hope they felt Dek stayed silent choosing to instead focus on the contrast between their bright green hands on the warm brown of Massaryl’s neck and study the intricate tattooed swirls that curved down it. All while trying to avoid bumping with the thick bony horns that protruded from Massaryl’s forehead. Massaryl bent down, still hugging Dek tightly and awkwardly navigated them to the floor. She sat herself down before pulling Dek’s head into her lap where her hands softly stroked their shaved scalp and braids. Eased by the comfortable and familiar position Dek looked up and caught Massaryl’s gaze, where sparks of tears threatened to fall from her beautiful eyes.

“Talk to me” she commanded. “I want to understand why you would think such a thing. I thought you knew how I felt about you, I thought all three of us knew where we stood! But apparently not.” Taking a deep breath, Dek swallowed before beginning.

“It’s just, I don’t know how to say it. I love you and I know you love me. I like Felix too, I meant what I said about him, he’s a good friend and I am happy for you. It’s just that lately there’s been so much on with the war and everything. And us always on different duties and different ships. You talked to me before you became involved, Felix asked me himself if I was okay with it, he said he understood what we meant to each other.”

Dek paused, struggling to articulate the worries that had been gnawing away at them since they had heard the news. “I know our relationship is.....different. To yours and Felix’s I mean. To what a lot of people think is a relationship. Lots of the other Jedi, heck even my crew didn’t realise we were a couple for a long time because what we are together doesn’t meet their expectations.”

“What others believe about our relationship doesn’t matter to me.” Massaryl said, her hand moving to Dek’s chin to hold their gaze. “What matters is what we know. That we love each other, that we share a close bond of friendship and of romantic love. That you could never be replaced in my heart and that the differences between my relationship with you and the one I share with Felix do not diminish what I feel for either of you, nor do they elevate one above the other.” Her stare dropped for a moment before returning, her chin raised defiantly.

“But perhaps you don’t know that. Let me be clear then. I love you. I love Felix. You do not desire sexual intercourse and find the idea of engaging in it distressing. I enjoy it personally but that doesn’t mean I need it for my relationship with you to be any more valid than it already is. Felix and I share a sexual as well as a romantic relationship. This doesn’t make it any more valuable or important than my connection with you.” “Now.” She said as her tone became teasing. “Would you prefer me to continue to declare the obvious or should I move onto listing your many admirable traits that allow me to look past my favourite guardian being so stubborn and not just talking to me about this?”

Dekanis laughed as the load on their heart slowly lifted. “Well I could stand to hear about my many, many awesome traits, such as my amazing heroism, kickass battle skills, stunning good looks…..” They hurried on at Massaryl’s raised eyebrow. “Buuuuut I think I’ll let you off this time.”

“You forgot to mention your incredible modesty and generosity.”

Dekanis grinned in reply “I thought those were so obvious they didn’t need to be said!” Chuckling at their partner’s slight exasperated sigh, they wriggled up out of her lap and kissed her gently on the nose. Wrinkling her nose slightly she laughed fondly before replying.

“Perhaps we are both to blame here. I must never let this get around, such a failure to communicate would hardly speak well of my diplomatic skills” Kissing Dek on the cheek she smiled sheepishly. “Don’t worry your secret is safe with me. Not to mention your heart. Felix can look after the other one” Dek replied, waggling their eyebrows mischievously .

“Someone talking about me?” Both Jedi looked up in surprise as Felix entered the room, leaning back against the door as he looked from one to the other. Pushing up off the floor Dek stretched for a second before leaping over to him in one of their famous force leap hugs. The lieutenant caught them in his arms and swung them around laughing before setting them back down. “That’d be me. I wanted to say congratulations!” They beamed at him. “Seriously, I mean it.” He smiled back so warmly and with such happiness coming off him through the force that Dek felt bad about allowing her friend to believe they had disapproved of the engagement.

“Thanks, coming from you Dek that means a lot. But shouldn’t I be congratulating you too?” He asked quizzically, looking over at Massaryl as he spoke.

“I haven’t had the chance to ask” she answered as she crossed the room to join her partners. Dekanis looked from one to the other in confusion.

“Ask me what?” they queried casually, reaching out with the force towards the sudden sense of anticipation they felt. Massaryl took her time to reply, catching one of Dekanis’ hands in their own from out of the hug they and Felix were still holding before touching Dek’s cheek with her other.

“Will you marry me?” She asked, her usual calm exterior bursting with a welling off hope. “I meant what I said when I said I love you both, I want to share my life with you both too. “Felix thinks it’s a great idea.” He nodded as Dek’s stunned gaze swung to him. “And I’ve already gotten the council’s approval, they actually agreed it was a good idea too, there was some grumbling but Master Satele supported me. Qyzen overheard me talking about it with Felix so I had to talk to the council before he let it slip to Yuon and they found out anyway, or I would have spoken to you first.” Her usually flawless dictation gave away to what could almost be called a babble before Dek stopped her with a kiss on the lips.

“Yes.” They breathed “Yes, yes, yes!” They swung their short arms round the both of them, hugging them tightly. “So when’s the wedding? Are we going to have it as a shared wedding? Can Kira be my witness or attendant or whatever? She has to be a part of it somehow. Ooh and we can involve T7 too, I’ve heard droids can get licenses to perform marriages in some sectors now. He could totally officiate!”

“I vote yes to joint, of course Kira can get involved but I’m gonna say no on T7 officiating” Felix replied chuckling. “I was thinking a big fancy ceremony on Tython sounds good though.” Rolling her eyes at their antics Massaryl unwound the hug before slipping her arms around Dek and Felix’s. Pulling them out of the training room she began to march them along the corridor.

“I suppose the bulk of the organizing is going to be left to me?” she asked archly, her smile betraying her amusement.

Dek and Felix grinned at each other before chorusing "You are the Jedi Master here."

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is the first i've published in a long time so feedback and criticism are extremely welcome. Dekanis my Knight is a sex-repulsed asexual agender character who is romantically interested in woman. Massaryl my Consular is polyamorous and bisexual. Their species are Mirialan and Zabrak respectively.  
> I worry i repeated myself too much in this fic but after considering how important i feel addressing Dekanis' feelings are, i've decided to go with what makes me feel better as a person over what may be better as a writer.  
> (Also first fic on here so editing may be a bit funky and formatting clunky)


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